Wonder in Fear

All right. I'm not trying to be as emo as that title says. I swear.
Here's the story for background:
I was waiting in between classes, I think it was about last week. (Dates have started to blurr lately. Can't remember what I ate for dinner two days ago) It was nice outside. Sun was shining, there was a slight breeze, it was warm. All good things. So I sit down on a bench in a grassy area to read and pass the time.
All of an effing sudden this huge bumblebee comes flying near me. Thing was the size of a lima bean. I'm slightly allergic to the things. Nothing life threatening, or I'd be carrying an epi-pen around with me everywhere. But whatever gets stung tends to swell to twice its size. This bee decided that I would make a good landing pad and landed on my left wrist. And it stayed there. For about two minutes. I had an iPod in my ears, the song was about 3 minutes long, and it was there most of the song.
So. It sat there. It even tasted me. Saw the proboscus(SP?) come out. (Thank you Magic School Bus) I obviously tasted good because it stayed there. Anyways. Point of this.
My adrenalin went up when the thing got near me, and shot through the roof when it landed on me. But there's a point in time when the absolute fear disapates for a moment, and every detail comes into absolute focus. A certain amount of wonder comes in, and is only magnified when the event is over.
That bee...such a thing of wonder. They have a certain amount of weight, and you can feel it, not like the weightlessness of a fly or mosquito. Tangible, I guess would be the word. Bee wings are very transparent, but they do have a color to them, black, or maybe a dark brown.
And, of course, bees are fuzzy. I remember feeling the fuzzy. And, delicate. I remember looking at the legs a lot. When I wasn't staring at its back end hoping it wouldn't sting me. The legs are so very, very tiny. It's hard to comprehend just how well things work out in nature, when you get a close look.
Looking back at it, that bee was a thing of such beauty.
I think I'll still be afraid of yellowjackets and wasps-they are mean buggers and should not be messed with. They have tempers. But Bees? I don't think I'll be so afraid of them anymore. They're just too beautiful.

Waiting....It's only May, darnit!

There have been times where I'm completely content with life and willing just to live day by day. And there have been times where I've wanted time to slow down, either to enjoy something more, or to put something off. (There's the procrastinator in me....)
And finally, the other extreme, the impatient waiting for something in the future to hurry up and get here, damn it!
Now, I've gotten pretty good at getting through weeks to the weekends without loosing my mind. It's just a constant reminder that Friday gets closer every day. It helps when you're in college rather than public school because of the class schedual. Not the same thing Every. Bleedin'. Day.
Anyway. A friend of mine is visiting from England, and I really can't wait to see her. *bounces* But she's not coming till the very end of June. And it's only the beginning of May. *twitch* I'd explode with impatience if that didn't mean I wouldn't see her.
((Breathe, hun, breathe. Only a couple weeks ago it was April. Time is passing. Just very slowly. Very...very slowly))
Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!*runs in circles and then hits a wall*
Till next time?